Sunday, December 15, 2013

Celebrating my way. 3rd Advent Sunday

Are you sitting comfortably?
Then I'll begin...

And thank you to
for inviting us to share
our Winter celebrations. 

(Whenever I say 'Christmas' 
feel free to insert the 
Winter Festival
 of your choice.)

Part of what makes Christmas special
is the repetition of customs and traditions
that inspire feelings of nostalgia and pleasure,
building on happy memories of previous years.

When we talk about childhood Christmases
we tumble the best bits together,
and good things get carried forward
to become part of every Christmas.

One year, not long after we'd married,
Hubby asked me to read aloud to him.

Understand, dear souls,
I stammer. 
No one had ever asked me 
to read aloud to them before.

He wanted me to read him
A Christmas Carol.

Not us. Some couple by Renoir.

So I did.

Tucked up together on the sofa,
wrapped in a blanket and 
drinking steaming hot tea,
I read the whole thing.

I know him; Marley's ghost!

It took three readings
to complete the story,
and its transformative tale
of a man's redemption.

More ghosts.

I found I loved reading it,
and he enjoyed being read to,
so now it's part of every Christmas.

 We set aside evenings for it,
with cookies and cocoa,
and I have to have a hanky
because I get all choked up.

  He: Are you all right, my dear?  She: No! Tiny Tim just died!

It's a simple thing to do.
It costs nothing and
you can find the book for free on-line.

(Although we are considering buying a nice version
as my old paperback copy is getting very battered.)

Maybe one with Arthur Rackham's wonderful illustrations?

There's a wonderful intimacy
in reading aloud;
it's a shared experience
that's unlike anything else.

Also not us.  Paolo e Francesca

I look forward to it every year.

Not Krampus

If you want to try it
I'd set aside three evenings.

The first for Marley's visit

The second for Christmas Past 

and Christmas Present.

And the last for 
Christmas Yet To Come. 
and Christmas morning.

Provide nibbles,
light lots of candles,
and enjoy the role
of the Storyteller.

Links to making your own Marley Door Knocker can be found here.

To share in other celebrations,
hop over to Ms Misantropia's Blog
to join in

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Horny Hump Day

Blimey, it's cold!
Better get some hot action going, then!

Welcome to 

These are the further adventures
of the foul-mouthed Gretina the Skivvy.

Foul-mouthed she may be, but she is also bewilderingly innocent and horribly prudish.
Alone with a young man for the first time, she panics about what will happen.

Gretina wasn't sure what to expect, but Tilly Squint had assured her, with much giggling and gasps of horror, that men turned into beasts, that they ripped away all your clothing and threw you down on your back with your legs stuck up in the air, like rabbit-ears. Tilly had been vague on the details as to what happened next, but that it was terrible, that you were used; that was the word, used!  Tilly had explained that afterwards there was mess and blood, and then you had a baby, in agony. 

Hop on over to
and join in the party.

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Seven Minutes of Story

I write, because I love story.
I love the compulsion of the narrative 
and believe in the redemptive powers of the tale.

Heavy, right?

Ok, how about this?

If you have seven minutes to spare,
watch this.

And when it's done,
even though the story is complete,
you'll want to know more.

You'll want to know

It was made as a showcase
for a game developer's graphics.

So, there isn't any more.
You want more,
 you'll have to add story yourself.

Friday, December 6, 2013

Dream Destination

Welcome to the
Dream Destination 
blog hop
courtesy of

Please fasten your seatbelt,
and return your stewardess to the upright position.

Where would I go
if I could go anywhere?

 Good question. 

I'm limiting the answers to
real places
because most of you are writers
and frankly, as writers
we can go ANYWHERE
 while still sat behind our keyboard.

And have tea with a faun
when we get there.

It's like this.

I'm English and
I've lived most of my life near castles.

Big, beautiful castles.

Like this.  

They are everywhere.

Some of them are lived in.

Some of them are still lived in 
by the family who built them.

 I love castles.


But sometimes
I'd like a different kind of fantasy.

Something splashy and trashy.

Something in high heels and false eyelashes 
and suspect gender.

That's a real kind of magic.

A city set aside for adults to play adult games,
to believe in the very real power of 
in its original sense.

I want to go to


Yeah, Baby!

They even have castles!

Hop on over to either 
and join in the fun.

Prizes too!

I went back and identified the castles,
so you can visit them,
at least on the page.

Most of them are in the north of England.
I've  been lucky enough to live near
all of them, except Warwick Castle.

Sunday, December 1, 2013

NaNoWriMo and me.

Well, I didn't complete my NaNoWriMo.

I got to 21,007 words, though,
so nearly half.

This does mean that my 44,000 word
fledgling novel
is now 
63317 words long!


Someone who did complete their
NaNoWriMo is

Well done, Magaly
and congratulations!

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Horny Hump Day: The Skivvy's Tale.

This post contains naughty words and naughty pictures.
Safe for Grown-Ups, though.

This is three sentence passage from the novel I've been poking at for three years. 
The first half wrote itself very quickly, the second section I've been plugging at on NaNoWriMo. 

I've hit an action scene.
Wicked Cooks!
Unfortunately, I can't write action scenes for shit.
(Not a word I write often, but absolutely
apposite under the circumstances)

So I've stalled.
I hope to write half a NaNo.
That's like a half-marathon, right?

Meanwhile, this is a scene
from the closing chapters of the first book
of The Skivvy's Tale
where our protagonist,
Gretina Bathshaw
is in the wicked clutches
of the evil
Lord Arcady Vulpt.

      She bent her knees, drawing up her feet, knowing her position to be wanton and shameless; grateful for the concealment of the mask. A new scent sharpened the air, her own. 

‘Like a rose,’ he said, softly, ’ A woman’s sex opens like a flower and pours out its fragrance when she is in bloom.’

Thank you for visiting
I hope you had fun!

Monday, November 25, 2013

Grabs you by your collar


Yes, Crickets

This is a recording of crickets. 
There are two tracks
blended together.
One is the sound of crickets as we hear them,
the other is the sound slowed down.

  Crickets live brief lives, compared to us,
and the cricket chirrup is slowed 
to the speed it would be 
if a cricket lived as long as we do.

(It's at the top of the page)

There's some reports 
that this is a hoax,
or a fix.

I'd suggest that when the sound was slowed
it was also changed in pitch, 
to be at the same tone
as a human voice.

That seems fair enough,
a valid solution for us to be able to hear it
as something musical and new.

Sunday, November 24, 2013

The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr Morris Lessmore

is an award winning film, inspired by 
Hurricane Katrina, the Wizard of Oz, Buster Keaton
and a love of books.

It is a paean to the redemptive power of story,
which ties in rather neatly to

However, it is 15 minutes long,
so it's not a quick browse
if you're just passing through.

It might be nice to find this on youtube
and put up for your little bunnies to watch,
while they sit there in their bunny slippers
with hot chocolate and blankets.
on a cold winter's night.

Saturday, November 23, 2013

Seven Sins

 The Narrator put me up to this.

and what they mean to me.

Firstly, I decided
I'm going to illustrate this
with some pretty pictures
of things you really shouldn't do.

Like letting a dog mount a goat.
It's a sin, I tell you!

Secondly, I went and did some research and found
that all seven of the Sins had moved around 
somewhat over the past two thousand years.

That means I can pick my favourites!


Yes, yes, we all have times
when we're justified in feeling angry.

However, Wrath is that surge of emotion 
where we don't care what we say or do 
and let it all hang out.
And we shouldn't.
And by we,
I mean me.

 Well, actually, Wrath
should be pronounced roth
like Tim Roth.

Which brings me to...


(Love this cartoon for two reasons.
One, it's wickedly smutty and two,
it demonstrates why Fragonard's
The Swing is pretty smutty, too)

I'm not particularly prideful
about my looks or (hah!) wealth
or possessions.

I do have a nasty habit of correcting people.

It has taken me some time to learn
 that it's not socially acceptable 
to begin a statement with the word

Furthermore, if I ever need to open a sentence
with the expression Well, actually,
I should double check it first.


A question very dear to my heart.
How does anyone in the USA stay thin?

The only saving grace of my gluttony
is that I like to cook.

It's also an excuse.


I don't do this one very well.
I'm usually happy with what I have.

Apart from books.
I want all of mine
and all of yours, too.


Sloth seems to have been something 
closer to clinical depression earlier in its career,
when it was called Acidea

It was the feeling of ennui, tedium, procrastination
that prevented you from getting up
and doing what needed to be done.

And by you
I mean me.


(Wonderful allegorical picture
that can mean anything you want. 
It includes the foot from 
Monty Python)

I don't suffer from envy.
Not at all. 
I'm happy for you if you have a bigger car
or a bigger house or even a pony.

That's different.


Look, I know you read through all of these
just to get to Lust.

Big red shiny LUST
like a bed full of satin heart-shaped pillows.

But Lust originally meant desire,
a desire for anything. 
And if we didn't desire something enough
to get off our heart-shaped shiny pillows
and go for it,
we'd never get anything done.

Which makes Lust a cure for Sloth, right?
(see above)

As for libido,
I can only suggest you get happily married,
(Partnered, hand-fasted, civil unioned.)
so you can have as much sex
as you can eat.

Like this.

Thursday, November 21, 2013

Free book! FREE BOOK!

 You're here because I used the word free, right?

Well, you'd better get to it.
Magaly Guerrero's

is on Amazon,

Today is the last day!

(I think)

You don't have a kindle?

Neither do I, 
 for your device from Amazon.

You believe in reading only the printed word?

Me too. 
 I love trees, I love books, I love (love!) libraries.

But, I love writers too and what they write deserves to be read.

So go add it to your Kindle.

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Horny Hump Day: Virgin Post

 I can't remember how I stumbled over Horny Hump Day.
However, having found it I can only suggest
I felt compelled to take part.

Horny Hump Day
(Stop giggling back there,
we're all adults!)
is a weekly blog hop
for erotica writers.

The premise is simple:-

You post three sentences 
of smutt erotica,
and then visit everyone else on the blog hop.

It's a cute idea and as this is my first time,
I ask you to be gentle with me.

Firstly, from

 A tiny area seemed most insistent that it needed to be touched 
and Kitty’s hips rose every time the bulbous tip passed over the spot.  

Mabel Bunt (WIP)

She'd persuaded drunker men than this to stand to attention. 
“Don't you worry, lad; we're gonna make yer of use!”

Thursday, November 7, 2013

Side Comment

This is just a brief note to say, yes, I'm still
 doing my NaNoWriMo and I'm keeping my 
word count up-to-date on the sidebar.

More importantly, 
has a new post up for 
If you like Steampunk,
you'll enjoy this tale of derring-do
over the skies of Europe.

If you want to see the tale from
the beginning,

Friday, November 1, 2013


Yes, I am! 
Are you?

If you are, 
can we be buddies
as this is my first year?

If you don't know about

What is NaNoWriMo?

It's National Novel Writing Month.
It's what November is good for.
Get out there and write 50,000 words.
But you have to start today.