Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Horny Hump Day: The Skivvy's Tale.

This post contains naughty words and naughty pictures.
Safe for Grown-Ups, though.

This is three sentence passage from the novel I've been poking at for three years. 
The first half wrote itself very quickly, the second section I've been plugging at on NaNoWriMo. 

I've hit an action scene.
Wicked Cooks!
Unfortunately, I can't write action scenes for shit.
(Not a word I write often, but absolutely
apposite under the circumstances)

So I've stalled.
I hope to write half a NaNo.
That's like a half-marathon, right?

Meanwhile, this is a scene
from the closing chapters of the first book
of The Skivvy's Tale
where our protagonist,
Gretina Bathshaw
is in the wicked clutches
of the evil
Lord Arcady Vulpt.

      She bent her knees, drawing up her feet, knowing her position to be wanton and shameless; grateful for the concealment of the mask. A new scent sharpened the air, her own. 

‘Like a rose,’ he said, softly, ’ A woman’s sex opens like a flower and pours out its fragrance when she is in bloom.’

Thank you for visiting
I hope you had fun!

Monday, November 25, 2013

Grabs you by your collar


Yes, Crickets

This is a recording of crickets. 
There are two tracks
blended together.
One is the sound of crickets as we hear them,
the other is the sound slowed down.

  Crickets live brief lives, compared to us,
and the cricket chirrup is slowed 
to the speed it would be 
if a cricket lived as long as we do.

(It's at the top of the page)

There's some reports 
that this is a hoax,
or a fix.

I'd suggest that when the sound was slowed
it was also changed in pitch, 
to be at the same tone
as a human voice.

That seems fair enough,
a valid solution for us to be able to hear it
as something musical and new.

Sunday, November 24, 2013

The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr Morris Lessmore

is an award winning film, inspired by 
Hurricane Katrina, the Wizard of Oz, Buster Keaton
and a love of books.

It is a paean to the redemptive power of story,
which ties in rather neatly to

However, it is 15 minutes long,
so it's not a quick browse
if you're just passing through.

It might be nice to find this on youtube
and put up for your little bunnies to watch,
while they sit there in their bunny slippers
with hot chocolate and blankets.
on a cold winter's night.

Saturday, November 23, 2013

Seven Sins

 The Narrator put me up to this.

and what they mean to me.

Firstly, I decided
I'm going to illustrate this
with some pretty pictures
of things you really shouldn't do.

Like letting a dog mount a goat.
It's a sin, I tell you!

Secondly, I went and did some research and found
that all seven of the Sins had moved around 
somewhat over the past two thousand years.

That means I can pick my favourites!


Yes, yes, we all have times
when we're justified in feeling angry.

However, Wrath is that surge of emotion 
where we don't care what we say or do 
and let it all hang out.
And we shouldn't.
And by we,
I mean me.

 Well, actually, Wrath
should be pronounced roth
like Tim Roth.

Which brings me to...


(Love this cartoon for two reasons.
One, it's wickedly smutty and two,
it demonstrates why Fragonard's
The Swing is pretty smutty, too)

I'm not particularly prideful
about my looks or (hah!) wealth
or possessions.

I do have a nasty habit of correcting people.

It has taken me some time to learn
 that it's not socially acceptable 
to begin a statement with the word

Furthermore, if I ever need to open a sentence
with the expression Well, actually,
I should double check it first.


A question very dear to my heart.
How does anyone in the USA stay thin?

The only saving grace of my gluttony
is that I like to cook.

It's also an excuse.


I don't do this one very well.
I'm usually happy with what I have.

Apart from books.
I want all of mine
and all of yours, too.


Sloth seems to have been something 
closer to clinical depression earlier in its career,
when it was called Acidea

It was the feeling of ennui, tedium, procrastination
that prevented you from getting up
and doing what needed to be done.

And by you
I mean me.


(Wonderful allegorical picture
that can mean anything you want. 
It includes the foot from 
Monty Python)

I don't suffer from envy.
Not at all. 
I'm happy for you if you have a bigger car
or a bigger house or even a pony.

That's different.


Look, I know you read through all of these
just to get to Lust.

Big red shiny LUST
like a bed full of satin heart-shaped pillows.

But Lust originally meant desire,
a desire for anything. 
And if we didn't desire something enough
to get off our heart-shaped shiny pillows
and go for it,
we'd never get anything done.

Which makes Lust a cure for Sloth, right?
(see above)

As for libido,
I can only suggest you get happily married,
(Partnered, hand-fasted, civil unioned.)
so you can have as much sex
as you can eat.

Like this.

Thursday, November 21, 2013

Free book! FREE BOOK!

 You're here because I used the word free, right?

Well, you'd better get to it.
Magaly Guerrero's

is on Amazon,

Today is the last day!

(I think)

You don't have a kindle?

Neither do I, 
 for your device from Amazon.

You believe in reading only the printed word?

Me too. 
 I love trees, I love books, I love (love!) libraries.

But, I love writers too and what they write deserves to be read.

So go add it to your Kindle.

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Horny Hump Day: Virgin Post

 I can't remember how I stumbled over Horny Hump Day.
However, having found it I can only suggest
I felt compelled to take part.

Horny Hump Day
(Stop giggling back there,
we're all adults!)
is a weekly blog hop
for erotica writers.

The premise is simple:-

You post three sentences 
of smutt erotica,
and then visit everyone else on the blog hop.

It's a cute idea and as this is my first time,
I ask you to be gentle with me.

Firstly, from

 A tiny area seemed most insistent that it needed to be touched 
and Kitty’s hips rose every time the bulbous tip passed over the spot.  

Mabel Bunt (WIP)

She'd persuaded drunker men than this to stand to attention. 
“Don't you worry, lad; we're gonna make yer of use!”

Thursday, November 7, 2013

Side Comment

This is just a brief note to say, yes, I'm still
 doing my NaNoWriMo and I'm keeping my 
word count up-to-date on the sidebar.

More importantly, 
has a new post up for 
If you like Steampunk,
you'll enjoy this tale of derring-do
over the skies of Europe.

If you want to see the tale from
the beginning,

Friday, November 1, 2013


Yes, I am! 
Are you?

If you are, 
can we be buddies
as this is my first year?

If you don't know about

What is NaNoWriMo?

It's National Novel Writing Month.
It's what November is good for.
Get out there and write 50,000 words.
But you have to start today.