Celebrating my way. 3rd Advent Sunday

Are you sitting comfortably?

Then I'll begin...

And thank you to

Ms Misantropia

for inviting us to share

our Winter celebrations. 

(Whenever I say 'Christmas' 

feel free to insert the 

Winter Festival

 of your choice.)

Part of what makes Christmas special

is the repetition of customs and traditions

that inspire feelings of nostalgia and pleasure,

building on happy memories of previous years.

When we talk about childhood Christmases

we tumble the best bits together,

and good things get carried forward

to become part of every Christmas.

One year, not long after we'd married,

Hubby asked me to read aloud to him.

Understand, dear souls,

I stammer. 

No one had ever asked me 

to read aloud to them before.

He wanted me to read him

A Christmas Carol.

Not us. Some couple by Renoir.

So I did.

Tucked up together on the sofa,

wrapped in a blanket and 

drinking steaming hot tea,

I read the whole thing.

I know him; Marley's ghost!

It took three readings

to complete the story,

and its transformative tale

of a man's redemption.

More ghosts.

I found I loved reading it,

and he enjoyed being read to,

so now it's part of every Christmas.

 We set aside evenings for it,

with cookies and cocoa,

and I have to have a hanky

because I get all choked up.

  He: Are you all right, my dear?  She: No! Tiny Tim just died!

It's a simple thing to do.

It costs nothing and

you can find the book for free on-line.

(Although we are considering buying a nice version

as my old paperback copy is getting very battered.)

Maybe one with Arthur Rackham's wonderful illustrations?

There's a wonderful intimacy

in reading aloud;

it's a shared experience

that's unlike anything else.

Also not us.  Paolo e Francesca

I look forward to it every year.

Not Krampus

If you want to try it

I'd set aside three evenings.

The first for Marley's visit

The second for Christmas Past 

and Christmas Present.

And the last for 

Christmas Yet To Come. 

and Christmas morning.

Provide nibbles,

light lots of candles,

and enjoy the role

of the Storyteller.

Links to making your own Marley Door Knocker can be found here.

To share in other celebrations,

hop over to Ms Misantropia's Blog

to join in

Celebrating the Holidays My Way

Horny Hump Day

Blimey, it's cold!

Better get some hot action going, then!

Welcome to 

Horny Hump Day!

These are the further adventures

of the foul-mouthed Gretina the Skivvy.

Foul-mouthed she may be, but she is also bewilderingly innocent and horribly prudish.

Alone with a young man for the first time, she panics about what will happen.

Gretina wasn't sure what to expect, but Tilly Squint had assured her, with much giggling and gasps of horror, that men turned into beasts, that they ripped away all your clothing and threw you down on your back with your legs stuck up in the air, like rabbit-ears. Tilly had been vague on the details as to what happened next, but that it was terrible, that you were used; that was the word, used!  Tilly had explained that afterwards there was mess and blood, and then you had a baby, in agony. 

Hop on over to

Horny Hump Day

and join in the party.

Seven Minutes of Story

I write, because I love story.

I love the compulsion of the narrative 

and believe in the redemptive powers of the tale.

Heavy, right?

Ok, how about this?

If you have seven minutes to spare,

watch this.

And when it's done,

even though the story is complete,

you'll want to know more.

You'll want to know

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?

It was made as a showcase

for a game developer's graphics.

So, there isn't any more.

You want more,

 you'll have to add story yourself.

Dream Destination

Welcome to the

Dream Destination 

blog hop

courtesy of

Lexa Cain

and

Julie Flanders.

Please fasten your seatbelt,

and return your stewardess to the upright position.

Where would I go

if I could go anywhere?

 Good question. 

I'm limiting the answers to

real places

because most of you are writers

and frankly, as writers

we can go ANYWHERE

 while still sat behind our keyboard.

And have tea with a faun

when we get there.

Look.

It's like this.

I'm English and
I've lived most of my life near castles.

Lindisfarne

Big, beautiful castles.

Bamburgh

Like this.  

Bodiam

They are everywhere.

Norham

Some of them are lived in.

Warwick

Some of them are still lived in 

by the family who built them.

Alnwick

 I love castles.

Bothal

But sometimes

I'd like a different kind of fantasy.

Something splashy and trashy.

Something in high heels and false eyelashes 

and suspect gender.

That's a real kind of magic.

A city set aside for adults to play adult games,

to believe in the very real power of 

glamour

in its original sense.

I want to go to

LAS VEGAS!

Yeah, Baby!

They even have castles!

Hop on over to either 

Lexa's or Julie's blog

and join in the fun.

Prizes too!

I went back and identified the castles,
so you can visit them,
at least on the page.

Most of them are in the north of England.
I've  been lucky enough to live near
all of them, except Warwick Castle.

NaNoWriMo and me.

Well, I didn't complete my NaNoWriMo.

I got to 21,007 words, though,

so nearly half.

Right?

This does mean that my 44,000 word

fledgling novel

is now 

63317 words long!

Yay!

Someone who did complete their

NaNoWriMo is

Magaly Guerrero.

Well done, Magaly

and congratulations!

Horny Hump Day: The Skivvy's Tale.

This post contains naughty words and naughty pictures.

NSFW!

Safe for Grown-Ups, though.

This is three sentence passage from the novel I've been poking at for three years. 

The first half wrote itself very quickly, the second section I've been plugging at on NaNoWriMo. 

However,

I've hit an action scene.

 Cannons! 

Drama! 

Betrayal! 

Wicked Cooks!

Unfortunately, I can't write action scenes for shit.

(Not a word I write often, but absolutely

apposite under the circumstances)

So I've stalled.

I hope to write half a NaNo.

That's like a half-marathon, right?

Meanwhile, this is a scene

from the closing chapters of the first book

of The Skivvy's Tale

where our protagonist,

Gretina Bathshaw

is in the wicked clutches

of the evil

Lord Arcady Vulpt.

      She bent her knees, drawing up her feet, knowing her position to be wanton and shameless; grateful for the concealment of the mask. A new scent sharpened the air, her own. 

‘Like a rose,’ he said, softly, ’ A woman’s sex opens like a flower and pours out its fragrance when she is in bloom.’

Thank you for visiting

on Horny Hump Day

I hope you had fun!

Grabs you by your collar

Crickets.

Yes, Crickets

This is a recording of crickets. 

There are two tracks

blended together.

One is the sound of crickets as we hear them,

the other is the sound slowed down.

  Crickets live brief lives, compared to us,

and the cricket chirrup is slowed 

to the speed it would be 

if a cricket lived as long as we do.

 Listen...

(It's at the top of the page)

There's some reports 

that this is a hoax,

or a fix.

I'd suggest that when the sound was slowed

it was also changed in pitch, 

to be at the same tone

as a human voice.

That seems fair enough,

a valid solution for us to be able to hear it

as something musical and new.

The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr Morris Lessmore

The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr Morris Lessmore

is an award winning film, inspired by 

Hurricane Katrina, the Wizard of Oz, Buster Keaton

and a love of books.

It is a paean to the redemptive power of story,

which ties in rather neatly to

The Narrator's musical offering for today.

However, it is 15 minutes long,

so it's not a quick browse

if you're just passing through.

It might be nice to find this on youtube

and put up for your little bunnies to watch,

while they sit there in their bunny slippers

with hot chocolate and blankets.

on a cold winter's night.

Seven Sins

 The Narrator put me up to this.

The Seven Deadly Sins

and what they mean to me.

Firstly, I decided

I'm going to illustrate this

with some pretty pictures

of things you really shouldn't do.

Like letting a dog mount a goat.

It's a sin, I tell you!

Secondly, I went and did some research and found

that all seven of the Sins had moved around 

somewhat over the past two thousand years.

That means I can pick my favourites!

Wrath!

Yes, yes, we all have times

when we're justified in feeling angry.

However, Wrath is that surge of emotion 

where we don't care what we say or do 

and let it all hang out.

And we shouldn't.

And by we,

I mean me.

 Well, actually, Wrath

should be pronounced roth

like Tim Roth.

Which brings me to...

Pride!

(Love this cartoon for two reasons.

One, it's wickedly smutty and two,

it demonstrates why Fragonard's

The Swing is pretty smutty, too)

I'm not particularly prideful

about my looks or (hah!) wealth

or possessions.

However,

I do have a nasty habit of correcting people.

It has taken me some time to learn

 that it's not socially acceptable 

to begin a statement with the word

Correction!

Furthermore, if I ever need to open a sentence

with the expression Well, actually,

I should double check it first.

 Gluttony!

A question very dear to my heart.

How does anyone in the USA stay thin?

The only saving grace of my gluttony

is that I like to cook.

It's also an excuse.

Greed!

I don't do this one very well.

I'm usually happy with what I have.

Apart from books.

I want all of mine

and all of yours, too.

Sloth!

Sloth seems to have been something 

closer to clinical depression earlier in its career,

when it was called Acidea

It was the feeling of ennui, tedium, procrastination

that prevented you from getting up

and doing what needed to be done.

And by you

I mean me.

(Again)

Envy!

(Wonderful allegorical picture

that can mean anything you want. 

It includes the foot from 

Monty Python)

I don't suffer from envy.

Not at all. 

I'm happy for you if you have a bigger car

or a bigger house or even a pony.

Jealousy?

That's different.

Lust!

Look, I know you read through all of these

just to get to Lust.

Big red shiny LUST, 

like a bed full of satin heart-shaped pillows.

But Lust originally meant desire,

a desire for anything. 

And if we didn't desire something enough

to get off our heart-shaped shiny pillows

and go for it,

we'd never get anything done.

Which makes Lust a cure for Sloth, right?

(see above)

As for libido,

I can only suggest you get happily married,

(Partnered, hand-fasted, civil unioned.)

so you can have as much sex

as you can eat.

Like this.

Free book! FREE BOOK!

 You're here because I used the word free, right?

Well, you'd better get to it.

Magaly Guerrero's

AlmaMia Cienfuegos and other stories

is on Amazon,

on Kindle

for free.

Today is the last day!

(I think)

You don't have a kindle?

Neither do I, 

but you can download a free version

 for your device from Amazon.

You believe in reading only the printed word?

Me too. 

 I love trees, I love books, I love (love!) libraries.

But, I love writers too and what they write deserves to be read.

So go add it to your Kindle.

Horny Hump Day: Virgin Post

 I can't remember how I stumbled over Horny Hump Day.

However, having found it I can only suggest

I felt compelled to take part.

Horny Hump Day

(Stop giggling back there,

we're all adults!)

is a weekly blog hop

for erotica writers.

The premise is simple:-

You post three sentences 

of smutt erotica,

and then visit everyone else on the blog hop.

It's a cute idea and as this is my first time,

I ask you to be gentle with me.

Firstly, from

Kitty and the Machine. (WIP)

 A tiny area seemed most insistent that it needed to be touched 

and Kitty’s hips rose every time the bulbous tip passed over the spot.  

Mabel Bunt (WIP)

She'd persuaded drunker men than this to stand to attention. 

“Don't you worry, lad; we're gonna make yer of use!”

Side Comment

This is just a brief note to say, yes, I'm still

 doing my NaNoWriMo and I'm keeping my 

word count up-to-date on the sidebar.

More importantly, 

Narrator

has a new post up for 

Tea and Zeppelins in 

The Narrator's Study.

If you like Steampunk,

you'll enjoy this tale of derring-do

over the skies of Europe.

If you want to see the tale from

the beginning,

start here.

NaNoWriMo

Yes, I am! 

Are you?

If you are, 

can we be buddies

as this is my first year?

If you don't know about

NaNoWriMo

all the info is here.

What is NaNoWriMo?

It's National Novel Writing Month.

It's what November is good for.

Get out there and write 50,000 words.

But you have to start today.