Horny Hump Day: The Skivvy's Tale.

This post contains naughty words and naughty pictures.

NSFW!

Safe for Grown-Ups, though.

This is three sentence passage from the novel I've been poking at for three years. 

The first half wrote itself very quickly, the second section I've been plugging at on NaNoWriMo. 

However,

I've hit an action scene.

 Cannons! 

Drama! 

Betrayal! 

Wicked Cooks!

Unfortunately, I can't write action scenes for shit.

(Not a word I write often, but absolutely

apposite under the circumstances)

So I've stalled.

I hope to write half a NaNo.

That's like a half-marathon, right?

Meanwhile, this is a scene

from the closing chapters of the first book

of The Skivvy's Tale

where our protagonist,

Gretina Bathshaw

is in the wicked clutches

of the evil

Lord Arcady Vulpt.

      She bent her knees, drawing up her feet, knowing her position to be wanton and shameless; grateful for the concealment of the mask. A new scent sharpened the air, her own. 

‘Like a rose,’ he said, softly, ’ A woman’s sex opens like a flower and pours out its fragrance when she is in bloom.’

Thank you for visiting

on Horny Hump Day

I hope you had fun!

Grabs you by your collar

Crickets.

Yes, Crickets

This is a recording of crickets. 

There are two tracks

blended together.

One is the sound of crickets as we hear them,

the other is the sound slowed down.

  Crickets live brief lives, compared to us,

and the cricket chirrup is slowed 

to the speed it would be 

if a cricket lived as long as we do.

 Listen...

(It's at the top of the page)

There's some reports 

that this is a hoax,

or a fix.

I'd suggest that when the sound was slowed

it was also changed in pitch, 

to be at the same tone

as a human voice.

That seems fair enough,

a valid solution for us to be able to hear it

as something musical and new.

The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr Morris Lessmore

The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr Morris Lessmore

is an award winning film, inspired by 

Hurricane Katrina, the Wizard of Oz, Buster Keaton

and a love of books.

It is a paean to the redemptive power of story,

which ties in rather neatly to

The Narrator's musical offering for today.

However, it is 15 minutes long,

so it's not a quick browse

if you're just passing through.

It might be nice to find this on youtube

and put up for your little bunnies to watch,

while they sit there in their bunny slippers

with hot chocolate and blankets.

on a cold winter's night.

Seven Sins

 The Narrator put me up to this.

The Seven Deadly Sins

and what they mean to me.

Firstly, I decided

I'm going to illustrate this

with some pretty pictures

of things you really shouldn't do.

Like letting a dog mount a goat.

It's a sin, I tell you!

Secondly, I went and did some research and found

that all seven of the Sins had moved around 

somewhat over the past two thousand years.

That means I can pick my favourites!

Wrath!

Yes, yes, we all have times

when we're justified in feeling angry.

However, Wrath is that surge of emotion 

where we don't care what we say or do 

and let it all hang out.

And we shouldn't.

And by we,

I mean me.

 Well, actually, Wrath

should be pronounced roth

like Tim Roth.

Which brings me to...

Pride!

(Love this cartoon for two reasons.

One, it's wickedly smutty and two,

it demonstrates why Fragonard's

The Swing is pretty smutty, too)

I'm not particularly prideful

about my looks or (hah!) wealth

or possessions.

However,

I do have a nasty habit of correcting people.

It has taken me some time to learn

 that it's not socially acceptable 

to begin a statement with the word

Correction!

Furthermore, if I ever need to open a sentence

with the expression Well, actually,

I should double check it first.

 Gluttony!

A question very dear to my heart.

How does anyone in the USA stay thin?

The only saving grace of my gluttony

is that I like to cook.

It's also an excuse.

Greed!

I don't do this one very well.

I'm usually happy with what I have.

Apart from books.

I want all of mine

and all of yours, too.

Sloth!

Sloth seems to have been something 

closer to clinical depression earlier in its career,

when it was called Acidea

It was the feeling of ennui, tedium, procrastination

that prevented you from getting up

and doing what needed to be done.

And by you

I mean me.

(Again)

Envy!

(Wonderful allegorical picture

that can mean anything you want. 

It includes the foot from 

Monty Python)

I don't suffer from envy.

Not at all. 

I'm happy for you if you have a bigger car

or a bigger house or even a pony.

Jealousy?

That's different.

Lust!

Look, I know you read through all of these

just to get to Lust.

Big red shiny LUST, 

like a bed full of satin heart-shaped pillows.

But Lust originally meant desire,

a desire for anything. 

And if we didn't desire something enough

to get off our heart-shaped shiny pillows

and go for it,

we'd never get anything done.

Which makes Lust a cure for Sloth, right?

(see above)

As for libido,

I can only suggest you get happily married,

(Partnered, hand-fasted, civil unioned.)

so you can have as much sex

as you can eat.

Like this.

Free book! FREE BOOK!

 You're here because I used the word free, right?

Well, you'd better get to it.

Magaly Guerrero's

AlmaMia Cienfuegos and other stories

is on Amazon,

on Kindle

for free.

Today is the last day!

(I think)

You don't have a kindle?

Neither do I, 

but you can download a free version

 for your device from Amazon.

You believe in reading only the printed word?

Me too. 

 I love trees, I love books, I love (love!) libraries.

But, I love writers too and what they write deserves to be read.

So go add it to your Kindle.

Horny Hump Day: Virgin Post

 I can't remember how I stumbled over Horny Hump Day.

However, having found it I can only suggest

I felt compelled to take part.

Horny Hump Day

(Stop giggling back there,

we're all adults!)

is a weekly blog hop

for erotica writers.

The premise is simple:-

You post three sentences 

of smutt erotica,

and then visit everyone else on the blog hop.

It's a cute idea and as this is my first time,

I ask you to be gentle with me.

Firstly, from

Kitty and the Machine. (WIP)

 A tiny area seemed most insistent that it needed to be touched 

and Kitty’s hips rose every time the bulbous tip passed over the spot.  

Mabel Bunt (WIP)

She'd persuaded drunker men than this to stand to attention. 

“Don't you worry, lad; we're gonna make yer of use!”

Side Comment

This is just a brief note to say, yes, I'm still

 doing my NaNoWriMo and I'm keeping my 

word count up-to-date on the sidebar.

More importantly, 

Narrator

has a new post up for 

Tea and Zeppelins in 

The Narrator's Study.

If you like Steampunk,

you'll enjoy this tale of derring-do

over the skies of Europe.

If you want to see the tale from

the beginning,

start here.

NaNoWriMo

Yes, I am! 

Are you?

If you are, 

can we be buddies

as this is my first year?

If you don't know about

NaNoWriMo

all the info is here.

What is NaNoWriMo?

It's National Novel Writing Month.

It's what November is good for.

Get out there and write 50,000 words.

But you have to start today.