I'd like to say thank you
where this week's image is a
delightful Edward Hopper.
It made me think of cream teas,
charming tea rooms,
cake-stands full of pastel pretty pastries.
In fact, it made me very hungry,
which lead me to those wonderful
fairy tales where someone's hunger
can be a very scary thing, indeed.
Tea for Two, Dinner for One.
“Two
at table four, Margaret, please.” said the Maître d'.
Greta
nodded, straightened her apron. She carried the heavy tray with the tea things and placed it, with demure ceremony, on the table. A smile, for the customers.
The woman
smiled back, her thickly painted lips as red as a glazed strawberry,
then shrugged off a heavy coat to reveal a rather smart gingerbread
coloured jacket. The man, however, just gave a hitch of his mouth
and turned his attention back to the blank tablecloth.
“We
have sachertorte and congress tarts.” Greta handed out the stiff, engraved menus, with their sinful miscellany of pastries. “There's
the éclairs, of course, and the macaroons and tarte au citron
and...”
The
woman rapped her tea cup with her spoon. The ringing tone jarred Greta
out of her rambling and she swallowed silent the description of patisserie.
The
woman leaned forward, as if about to share a secret.”I think we'll
start with the hot buttered crumpets and then we'd like to try
everything that you recommend.” She gave a nod of her head, neatly
wrapped in a cherry-red cloche.”Hans here is rather hungry, poor
soul, so I'd like to make sure he gets to eat his fill.” She then
stared across the table at Hans, who hunched his shoulders a little
and nodded.
“Yes,
Mrs, Cotter.” he mumbled.
“Do call me Ginger, silly
boy!” Mrs Cotter suddenly tapped Greta's wrist with her fingers, flashing
nails as white and smooth as blanched almonds. “Don't you think
Hans is a silly boy?”
Greta
wasn't sure what she thought. Hans wasn't a boy at all. He looked to
be in his twenties, a good five years older than she was. Younger
than the woman, though, so she wondered exactly what their
relationship was. Mrs Cotter was older but not so old as to be his
mother. A pampering aunt and a sulky nephew? Maybe. Maybe they were
lovers, as Mrs Cotter's glances were full of greedy proprietorship
as she smirked at Hans. He looked rather nice, clean and neat. He
also looked utterly miserable. There were dark daubs under his eyes,
as if he hadn't slept, and his face was all pulled tight. Maybe he'd
been ill, she wondered? She gave him another smile.
No
response.
Mrs
Cotter lightly clapped her hands together, the movement releasing a
fragrance of cloves and vanilla. 'Well, that's decided, then! Hans,
pour the tea would you? There's a dear. No sugar for me.” She
winked, rather coarsely, at Greta. “I'm sweet enough.”
Greta
hurried away to place the order. She looked out the wide windows of
the Woodland Tea Room, where outside the Bentleys and Talbots
and Rovers splashed through the rain. The sky hung down grey, like
wet mould. But inside, everything was bright and clean; the silver tea
pots, the gleaming cake stands, the delicate, brittle bone china. All
the conversation was muted, and broken by the happy silence of
someone biting into a billow of light pastry. Genteel. Civilised.
She smiled again, fluttering between the tables in her uniform, with
the huge bow at the back making her a butterfly. A cake-bearing
butterfly.
Returning
with the imposing tower of delights on the cake-stand, she noted a
strange scent. Mrs Cotter was smoking. That wasn't in itself unusual.
Lots of ladies smoked in public. It was the 1920's, not the Dark
Ages! But the smoke wasn't the usual acrid reek of tobacco. It
smelled spicy. Greta stood the silver cake-stand on the table, for inspection. Mrs Cotter smiled and nodded, and blew a pale wreath of
cinnamon-fragrant smoke over it.
“Thank
you, dear girl. You really were very quick. Wasn't she, Hans?”
Hans
gave the first sign of some kind of life. His head jerked up and he
gazed around, like a sleeper woken by a sudden sound. Then he stared
down at the plate, apparently transfixed by its design of hand
painted ivy leaves.
“I'm not hungry.” he said to the plate.
“See?”
Mrs Cotter gave her another vulgar wink. “I told you he was a silly
boy. Eat up, dear heart! You're positively wasting away!” As Greta
placed a plate and fork and napkin in front of the woman, she wafted
it away, in a stream of smoke. “ No, no! Nothing for me! Nothing
before dinner tonight.”
And
with that, she rubbed a hand, pale as chantilly cream, over her little
bun-shaped belly, smirking. Greta didn't know where to look and felt
her face heat up in a blush. Mrs Cotter's simper changed to a plump
pout of annoyance, as Hans continued to stare morosely at his plate.
“Come
along now, darling. You need some meat on those bones.”
She
gestured to Greta, who began to place frothy little confections onto Hans' china, all the while feeling a prickle of disquiet. When his plate was a mound of mille feuille, choux, savoy sponge, meringue, macaroons and
galette, Mrs Cotter struck the side of her tea cup with the spoon again, like
a dinner gong.
Hans
suddenly picked up his fork and began to put away the cakes as if he
was stoker loading coal. A wedge of éclair. A whole tartlet, studded
with raspberries. A cream horn stuffed with whipped chocolate
ganache. As his plate began to empty, Mrs Cotter cleared her throat
with some annoyance and gestured to the cake-stand.
“Dish him up some more, would you, and then bring us a fresh pot of tea and
some more of these delightful pastries. Do you have any Linzer
torte? Palmiers? I'm sure you know what to bring.” And with that,
the woman leaned back, brushing some stray crumbs from her
gingerbread coat, with its butterscotch glass buttons.
Greta
was glad to get away. After returning with more tea and another
tray glutted with confectionery, she was happy to wait other tables, with more conventional customers.
Twice she was summoned back to Hans and Mrs Cotter, for more tea and
even more cakes.
At
five o'clock, Hans' resolute, mechanical shovelling had slowed. His
face was pink now, and his sad, shadowy eyes were dazed and blinking.
Greta saw Mrs Cotter lean over the table, producing a handkerchief, white as sugar, to dab chocolate sauce from his lips as
if he was a child. He didn't move. He didn't move when she reached
out with those almond-white fingernails and pinched his cheek. She
left red marks on his skin.
“Oh,
I think you're done, dear boy.” she breathed, then waved an imperious hand at
Greta.
When
Greta returned with the bill on its little silver salver, Mrs Cotter
shook her head and pulled out another cinnamon bark cigarette.”I
can't see all that tiny writing without my glasses.” she said,
between tugs of scented smoke,” Give it to Hans. He might as well
do something useful before dinner.”
Hans
took the piece of paper with sweaty fingers. Then, with a chagrined
expression, he showed Greta his hands were covered in chocolate
ganache. He took up his linen napkin and began to wipe his fingers
clean, one by one, with great deliberation. Once they were cleaned to his satisfaction, he opened his wallet and unfolded a crisp white five
pound note, laying it gently on the salver under Mrs Cotter's amused
gaze.
“Come
along, dear boy! You don't have all night!” And with that,
Mrs Cotter got to her feet. She stubbed out the cigarette in a rosette of whipped cream. Then Hans helped her into her coat, his face
stiff with resignation.
When Greta hurried back with the change and receipt, Mrs Cotter
just waved her away, impatiently.
But Hans
leaned forward, gave Greta a polite tip of his hat. “Please, keep the change.” he
muttered, and gathered all the coins into his dirty napkin, making a
little package. He pressed the napkin into Greta's hands. “Please.”
“Come
along!"
And
with that, Mrs Cotter herded him out of the tea room.
Greta
watched them go. She looked at the wreckage of the table, covered in
cream and crumbs. Then she opened Hans' napkin, and the coins all
tumbled out in a metallic cascade. Written on the cloth, in thick
smeary chocolate ganache letters, were the words
HELP
ME
 |
| Afternoon Tea Party . Jean Etienne Liotard . 18th C |
(Thank you so much for reading!
If you would indulge me, I'd like to point you
in the direction of a giveaway,
There's all kinds of good things
being given away.
For free!
No cakes though, unfortunately)
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