Monday, October 28, 2013

Spooktoberfest 2013 : Ma Bean







This is my offering.
I hope you enjoy!



 Ma Bean

November 12th  2013
Coroner’s Inquest Addendum 


This is a transcription of an interview with Mrs. Katriona Bean, AKA Ma Bean, of Windtop Pike.  

The entire interview is available online, for authorized access only. 

As you know, Windtop Pike has been a proposed site for hydraulic fracturing by Multifrack Inc since 2009 but the site remains undeveloped. This is partially due to the site’s difficult access up a narrow mountain track and Mrs. Bean’s strong resistance to acquisition of the land.

 One September 1st , 2010, Clint Obermeyer and Andrew Brown went to speak to Mrs. Bean to persuade her to allow development of the site. Their bodies were not discovered until  October 31st  2013. The recording was found at the scene. 

Partial Transcription: 

Obermeyer: Mrs. Bean, we’re really just trying to make it clear how much money there is in this operation. For you? Understand? For you! You don’t need to live up here, in this trailer.

Mrs. Bean: I like my trailer just fine.

Brown: It’s a very fine trailer, Mrs. Bean, but I’m sure you recognize that it could be more secure. You could have the Internet!  A new kitchen, maybe? City water.

Mrs. Bean: I like my own water just fine, too. And you sound like the police, calling me Mrs. Bean. Ma Bean, that’s my name! Been Ma Bean ever since Momma died. I can’t have no well up here, spouting gas everywhere. That’ll kill my potatoes. Can’t have you messing with my potatoes.

Obermeyer: Potatoes… 

(Papers rustling)

There’s no mention here of a potato farm. I’m sure the digging won’t affect your crop and you’ll be compensated for any loss of…

Mrs. Bean: My potatoes don’t like you! They don’t want you here. Can’t upset the potatoes, they’re growing on sacred ground.

(Papers rustling)

Brown: Ma Bean, we know there’s no protected Native American sites up here. 

Mrs. Bean: My Grandpa told me his Grandpa was given these potatoes and told they have to be grown here. They’re special. Sacred. And they don’t like their ground disturbed. This is the only place left where they can grow in peace!

(Sound of movement on the recording, assumed to be Mrs. Bean producing a potato)

Obermeyer: Jesus! That’s a potato? Will you look at the size of it? It’s huge! 

Brown: Looks like some kind of alien!  Ugly looking thing!

Mrs. Bean: It don’t like you, neither. It says, you two wretched creatures better go now. Says it wants to come with you, just to make sure you get off my land. Here. Take it! Now, scoot!

Obermeyer: She’s got a gun! Let’s get out of here!

(Audible sound of a cocking of a weapon. Recording ends.)

Mutlifrack’s vehicle was not discovered until  October 31st 2013.

 The bodies of Mr. Brown and Mr. Obermeyer were reduced to skeletons and had to be identified by their dental records. Their  pickup truck had presumably run off the road on a dangerous bend, dropped 300 feet into thick woodland and been hidden from view.  

The truck was examined and the accident was not caused by mechanical failure. Cause of accident appears to be a large potato that was wedged under the brake pedal, preventing the truck from braking while traveling on a steep gradient.

Coroner's verdict: Accidental Death.







For more Halloween goodness
see The Narrator's own
Spooktoberfest fiction here.


21 comments:

  1. Ok, now that's just dark. Very nice. Oh and I've almost finished the edits on Mabel Bunt, so it should be up soon, Rhissanna

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    1. Well, thank you, Mr N. I'm glad you liked it. I almost called the tale "Mashed Potato'.

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  2. That was so, wickedly unique! Loved the style and clever twist at the end!

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    1. Thank you! I did feel it was time the potato was better represented in the horror genre. This is my offering to the humble spud.

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  3. Extremely creative! I enjoyed how you used an interview to weave the tale.

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    1. Thank you very much! The story didn't leave me with a lot of alternatives; it was the only realistic way to allow the two dead men to speak. Of course, I could have interviewed the potato...

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  4. Great stuff! You've got one heck of an imagination and the creativity to boot! Good luck. Lily :-)

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  5. Amazing. You've got one heck of an imagination and creativity too. Loved it. Lily.

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    1. Thank you, Lily! I did have fun with this piece, once I realised just how alien a big, ugly potato could look!

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  6. haaa! I really like the potatoes line. Too funny! Thanks for stopping by! GirlZombieAuthors

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    1. Thank you! I think the time has arrived for killer potatoes!

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  7. Don't mess with the potatoes!

    I loved the way you used a non-fiction-esque format to tell this story, like found fottage in the movies. Gret genre!

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    1. Thank you so much! I wrestled with the format, but I've been re-reading 'Dracula' and it struck me that this found footage thing has been around a while; it just alters with the media used. I had fun with it!

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  8. This is creative, dark, and all around awesome! Great story!

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    1. Thank you so much! Those are the nicest things anyone could say about a killer potato story! I had fun writing it. Scared to make mashed potatoes, now.

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  9. Creative way to set-up your story! Great job! Thanks for participating in Spooktoberfest!

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    1. Thank you so much. I had such fun doing this and once the story was there, it all fell into place. Hooray for Spooktoberfest!

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  10. Uber creative. A potato gone wrong. Thanks for joining!

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    1. This was a great party and I had such fun going around the entries and writing this. Thank you for the initial inspiration of the images and the choice of words.

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  11. Love your imagination and the way you set up the story. Mashed Potato would have been a great title! ha ha!

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    1. Thank you! And yes, I was horribly tempted!

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